A Foster Mom's Heartache

I don't have children. I hope to some day, but for now, all I have are my foster babies. I can't imagine what a mom must feel for her flesh and blood, but all I know right now is the devastation from watching a puppy suffer for the last few days. I thought even though I recognized the signs and rushed him to the vet early enough, that maybe Tyler would be ok the next day. It hasn't happened yet. My vet told me today, "just when we think we know everything about Parvo, it changes." My heart hurts. I was so happy when I walked into the kennel this morning and he sat up on his haunches and flapped his tail, but I could see it was a struggle for him. The drool was still hanging from his mouth from his latest episode, the IV wire limiting his moving radius. He closed his eyes as I scratched behind his ears, telling him that everything was going to be fine, he had good doctors looking after him. He didn't respond much, just sat there. Thursday he had been out running with my older dogs, and today, it seemed a struggle for him to sit up. No matter how much I smiled at him this morning, how much I told him it would all be ok, I could feel anything but when I left. I remember the two puppies we had a year ago, littermates... one made it through, the other didn't. There's no reason why. I feel helpless as I sit here, praying, hoping that my little boy will come through. I won't get to see him again until Monday. A lot can happen in that time. Why, why can't people properly care for their pets?