Another Night of Heartbreak

The phone call came at 9:32 pm. All I had to do was look at the caller id and know what was coming. I have over 300 numbers stored in my phone, so I know who I have to answer and who I can call back later. This was one I had to take.

I answered, very softly, and the response was just the same. She really didn't have to tell me, but Dr. Hassan is an incredible vet and a kindred spirit. She gets what we are doing, and what it puts us through in the process. Add to the fact that she's been sick and gave up her time to go in and check on our puppies tonight, you see that she has just as much compassion as we. It was a short conversation. No need to rehash what I had just heard a little over 24 hours ago. Sonny had gone off to join his brother at the Rainbow Bridge.

Just a couple hours ago, I had gone down to Wendy's for some chili and a frosty to read my book. I needed a little down time and sitting here wasn't going to let me clear my head. Reading engrosses me in something else so I can't focus on all my responsibilities. I needed that tonight. But something in me told me when it was time to go home, and sure enough, not even ten minutes later is when the phone call came. Why can't I be this predictable with the winning lottery numbers?

I felt incredibly sick when I hung up the phone. Let's face it, Wendy's food isn't known for its nutritional value, and my constant up and down emotions for the last four days isn't helping either. What I wouldn't give right now for some hot cocoa and warm, snuggly pajamas. I don't know why, but those always made me feel better when I was a kid. I guess that's one of the pitfalls of living alone: times like this, when you need a hug or comforting, you're on your own to pick yourself back up. I've done it plenty of times before, I know I will again. But for tonight, I'll just hold the last puppy in my arms, saying my prayers of thanks that he didn't fall ill and is still well enough to chew his toys, dance on his back legs and pee in my lap from excitement.