Tennessee Mayor to Atlanta Lawmakers: Conservation, Not Occupation

On February 20, Georgia lawmakers voted to try and stake a claim to the Tennessee River based upon a "problem caused by an inaccurate land survey from 1818 that improperly marked the Tennessee-Georgia border south of where it should be." Our Tennessee neighbors, understanding the plight of our dear friends in Atlanta, issued a proclamation today and collected a truck of donated bottled water to be delivered to the capital city Wednesday morning. You have to admire their wit.

PROCLAMATION

WHEREAS, it has come to pass that the heavens are shut up and a drought of Biblical proportions has been visited upon the Southern United States, and

WHEREAS, the parched and dry conditions have weighed heavily upon the State of Georgia and sorely afflicted those who inhabit the Great City of Atlanta, and

WHEREAS, the leaders of Georgia have assembled like the Children of Israel in the desert, grumbled among themselves and have begun to cast longing eyes toward the north, coveting their neighbor’s assets, and

WHEREAS, the lack of water has led some misguided souls to seek more potent refreshment or for other reasons has resulted in irrational and outrageous actions seeking to move a long established and peaceful boundary, and

WHEREAS, it is deemed better to light a candle than curse the darkness, and better to offer a cool, wet kiss of friendship rather than face a hot and angry legislator gone mad from thirst, and

WHEREAS, it is feared that if today they come for our river, tomorrow they might come for our Jack Daniels or George Dickel,

NOW THEREFORE, In the interest of brotherly love, peace, friendship, mutual prosperity, citywide self promotion, political grandstanding and all that

I Ron Littlefield, Mayor of the City of Chattanooga, Tennessee,

Do hereby Proclaim that Wednesday, February 27, 2008 shall be known as

"Give Our Georgia Friends a Drink Day"

I'm sure I'm not the only person that rolled my eyes when I read that our lawmakers voted to have our boundary moved rather than impose conservation efforts. Let's hope they take the hint from Tennessee and look inward for a fix instead.