Who I Am

Recently, I've had some interesting discussions with friends, giving me perspectives about the person they think I am. Some are dead on, others, I think I should defend but maybe they are right as well. Regardless, the findings have been insightful and given me lots to think about.

"Rough around the edges." Ok, yeah, that's not really new. I give some blame of that to my father. Anyone that has ever met the man knows he speaks very little and never tells anyone anything good that he thinks of them. I'm very guilty of this, though I have tried much harder in the last year to do better. I still have some work to do. I'm also very guilty of saying what I'm thinking rather than pausing to reflect before I speak. Maybe that will be a new year's resolution.

"Suspicious [of others] until proven otherwise." It's no state secret that I've been hurt a lot in my life. Those that I allow into my inner circle didn't get in overnight. I take my time building my trust in others. I don't necessarily see this as a bad thing. Too often I have given trust too soon only to be made the fool or worse. So I'm a little protective of myself. It seems fair to be; the only one who is going to look out for me is me.

"Zealot." Ok, really, that I think was a bit much. Yes, I'm very passionate about my animal rescue, but I'm nowhere near the level of "zealot." I much prefer "passionatly determined." Just look at all these cute faces that enter my house with histories of abuse. Wouldn't you be, too?

"Stubborn." Once again, an attribute that is completely my father's genetics. While I may be set in doing things my way, I'm also set in making sure things happen. Yes, I may have run over a person or two along the way, but I'm learning to be better about listening to others before barreling down the road.

I really think these are only small parts of me. I consider myself a simple person (I'm not into materialistic things) who enjoys the comforts of her friends and a good companion. My favorite attire is shorts, tank top and flip flops, and I'll wear them most anywhere. I despise wearing makeup, but understand it is sometimes necessary for a greater good. I'm not a fan of designer labels for anything, though my favorite pair of jeans are my size 8 Tommy Hilfigure's since I love the way it shows off my 31 pounds of weight loss. My favorite foods are chocolate, ice cream and steak, though right now I love chili and roasted marshmellows. I am not a fan of cooking though I love to grill out (I make a fantastic grilled meditteranean chicken). I am a Parrothead, and my lifelong dream has been to meet Jimmy Buffett in person one day. I don't have a single MP3 CD in my truck that doesn't have at least 10 of his songs on it.

I'm also a hopeless romantic. I'm a great fan of Jane Austen and Kate Chopin. I enjoy writing short stories and poetry and listening to love songs on the radio or watching sappy movies on TV. I'm content to sit for hours on the north beach jetties, listening to the waves under the starlight or driving around town with the windows rolled down and wind whipping my hair around listening to my favorite soundtrack.

I also love to learn. If I had my way, I'd be in school again right now. I already have my sights set on my Humane Educator certification in 2009, and possibly a masters degree in public relations. It's not uncommon to find me late at night strolling around Barnes and Nobel breaking the bank with new finds.

On the education topic, I'm also a huge computer geek. It's not uncommon to find me online very late at night working on a project or website or just reading to see what else is out there. While I can troubleshoot lots of things, working on computers outside my home is not something I enjoy. There's a reason I don't work at Best Buy.

I am an incredibly dedicated person, not just to my passions, but to my friends. Since I take time to get to know folks before I trust them, there is very little to sway that trust once it is earned. I have driven across state lines late at night to be with someone who needed me, and on more than one occasion, I've left my comfy and snuggly bed to give someone a ride home from River Street. There is very little I won't do for those I care about anytime I'm asked.

But even greater than all this is my desire to be a mom one day. I've been teased about having lots of practice with the pets, and often times I think there is just no way I could handle a child as frustrated as I get with certain dogs at the ranch. But there's just something in me as I've gotten older that has the desire to share my loves of life with offspring.

So maybe there's something to Shrek's theory about onions and layers, though like Donkey, I much prefer a parfait from Dairy Queen.