Finding Hope

I've been struggling with what to write as so much has been going on in my life recently. But I guess it all starts at the crossroads.

In July, I left to spend some time in Cincinnati for the possibility of relocating. It took awhile to get everything squared away for the pups so I wouldn't worry while I was gone. I still found myself getting up at the same time every morning, and soon discovered that silence is creepy to me. I spent a lot of time by myself, reading a new book, and tanning out on the back patio. I laughed every day of the weather reports about the "heat wave" we were having. I was barely breaking a sweat. I spent other time working remotely, still checking emails, and making posts on the forum. I was there to ponder the possibility of spending the rest of my life with someone, but still felt terribly alone.

Since we first met, Aaron has called me type A+ personality. He's right. I can't ever just sit still; I don't really know how to. And that drove me nuts in Cincy. I felt guilty that I was there, having fun while others were here picking up my responsibilities. I missed my "kids," even their obnoxious behaviors and chewing up things that don't belong to them. I just didn't feel like me. I thought I'd be happy leaving Savannah, finding someone who loved me for all that I am, and treated me to wonderful times (I did at least finally get to go to my first Jimmy Buffett concert). But it just wasn't enough. As much as my heart had been aching throughout the long distance relationship, I actually found myself crying because I missed my home and the rescue. I was incredibly hurt that Cincy people were not friendly, waves and smiles were never returned, and no such thing as chit chat in stores. Even at the Buffett concert, where people had been tailgating for days (several Parrothead clubs made the trip), I didn't find reception to outsiders. I felt like I had no purpose. But the day before I left, I got my reminder.

We were on our way back down to the levee in Newport when my cell rang. The caller id said "ER Vet." I immediately panicked, not knowing if it was one of my babies or a foster. A familiar voice answered, and said they had a situation and wanted my help. I was quite relieved, until I heard the story. A dog had been brought in the night before by a landlord, apparently having been left by the tenants. She had been on a chain, for how long we may never know, but it had grown into her neck. The vet techs took to the dog immediately and started cleaning her wound, applied a bandage, and gave her pain medication and antibiotics. They told me they just couldn't turn her over to animal control, she was just too sweet. I agreed to take her when I returned from my flight at 9:30 the next night. I hung up the phone and realized I hadn't even bothered to ask her age, her size or even her breed. I think I was just so relieved to be reminded that I had a purpose in life.

And thus begins the story of Hope, the dog that reminds me each day with her kisses that we all have a place in this world, even if we aren't always sure we're there yet.