Dear Santa

I would like to think I have been a very good girl this year. I know I'm too old for this, but recently heard that if you put things in writing, you're that much closer to making them happen. So, here's my list:

Adoptions for Madison, Dancer, Comet, Ely, and Lizzie so that my two furkids can have me all to themselves for just a little while. But we both know that isn't true, but it makes room for us to save a few more from euthanasia and grant their holiday wishes.

A maid or house help just for a day. I spend most of my time cleaning up after the dogs, and so little doing things for myself. My house looks more like a dog kennel than a home. And it would be nice to have clean laundry for me instead of doing a load or two a day of soiled dog linens. The carpets might also appreciate a good steam cleaning as housebreaking hasn't been easy for Hannah.

Landscaping. Though the dogs have really tried to leave their own designs on the backyard, I miss having a place to relax and listen to my Jimmy Buffett music or host friends for an evening at the bar. Come to think of it, how about adding a sunroom while you're there so I can get my furniture that is ruining out of the shed? And a new cushion for my garden swing. Heck, why not make it a new swing altogether? Hannah has finally torn the cushion and padding to make it fit her just perfectly, I hate to make her have to start over again.

Heating and air for the backyard kennels. I'm sure there is a way to make that work, I just have no idea where to start. But it would be nice to reclaim the kitchen from some of the larger dogs that use my dining table as Victory Lane for their own race track.

A Dyson vacuum. Years of trying to teach the dogs to shed only outdoors has failed, as have two Bissell steamcleaners, 1 Hoover vacuum, and now a Dirt Devil bagless. Heck, I'd even be happy with a Rainbow, I hear those things are pretty good. I could even hook it up to Vinnie and groom him. Well, maybe not.

While on the subject of Vinnie, my poor 5'1" mother has requested obedience lessons as the ungraceful pooch knocks her on her butt every time she comes over trying to hug her. How do I tell my loving dog not to be so friendly? Shouldn't I be proud of a male that shows nothing but happiness when I walk through the door?

A properly running vehicle would also be nice, or just a gift certificate to get this one in good working order. As you know, I've put over 100,000 miles on it to the benefit of hundreds of homeless pets, but now it, too, needs some tender loving care. And let's face it, I'm not a car chick, and I know nothing about what's right or wrong with it. I love this vehicle and would like it to last another 100,000 miles.

Running shoes. A very odd request coming from me, and no it is not to increase my ability in chasing dogs. I actually just recently put myself into a fitness bootcamp and find my current shoes aren't quite as comfortable as they used to be. But it could also be the exercises and my natural lack of grace.

And finally, repairs of the master bathroom. I have one, just the people who lived here before me decided to leave me a clean slate to rebuild as I like. Problem is, I know nothing about plumbing, drywall or electricity, all of which would have to be put back in this room. It would be nice to have my own bathroom separate from the dogs' grooming station.

Ok, Santa, I think that is a pretty tall order for you. There's lots of other needy boys and girls out there who need their wishes granted, but if you could grant me just this one final wish, it would mean more to me than anything this Christmas:

Make people more compassionate to animals.

Thanks, Santa.